How does God want us to cope with the pain of missing him/her?Whether you’re the heartbroken or the heartbreaker, breaking up a relationship is never easy. Breakups are a part of life but that doesn’t mean they won’t hurt! Whenever someone experiences a breakup in a relationship, it can be a significant feeling of loss depending on how long and how close you have become during your time together. When we lose someone we have invested in emotionally and spent quality time with, we go through the natural stages of grieving that loss. It’s normal to experience a sense of loneliness, emptiness and pain as a part of that grieving process. Remember that when you date, you always run the risk of rejection.
Even though the loss of a relationship is felt now in the present, over time the rest of your life will take up more and more space where that sadness now resides. The pain will gradually reduce as you reinvest your time and energy in other friends, people that matter to you, activities, education, etc. that seek to build you up for the future. This amount of time will create a new pattern and replace the old one. As you learn to move forward – one step and one thought at a time, the past will lose its pull on you. Philippians 3:13b says “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.” As believers, we know our ultimate hope and encouragement is in Christ [2 Thessalonians 2:16].
As you learn to move on in your life, you will come to understand more fully that life in Christ provides you with real purpose and meaning. If your feelings of emptiness, pain or rejection have to do with things other than your ex, consider talking to a trusted pastor, counselor, doctor or your parents about the way you are feeling to find out what this means and where those feelings may be coming from. Some feelings of sadness for a period of time is normal, but staying stuck in it is not.
God wants to comfort and encourage you. This is the purpose of His Spirit being within us as believers. Pour your hurt, frustration, pain and anger out to God. He is big enough to take it and turn it into good. Place your focus on God’s ability and desire to provide you with a future filled with hope and joy [Jeremiah 29:11].
The following Bible passages will be helpful for you to read, consider and meditate on through this process:
1. Learning To Get Over The Relationship: James 1:2-4; Ephesians 4:22-24; James 1:25; John 3:17; Proverbs 3:11; John 16:33; Romans 8:28; 1 Peter 1:6-7.
2. Learning To Love Again: Mark 12:30; Romans 5:10; Matthew 5:44-46; 1 Corinthians 13:4-8; John 14:15; Philippians 3:13-14
A book that I’ve recommend to others on this topic and one that I’ve found very helpful is called, “The DIRT on Breaking Up” by Hayley DiMarco and Justin Lookadoo. You can get it at your local bookstore or Chapters at a reasonable price. As well, feel free to come and see me if you like and I’ll lend you my copy!
[Answered by Ray Lee, Summer Intern]
