Q: How do I refrain myself from homosexuality?

I know that being a homosexual is a sin, but what I can do to refrain myself from homosexuality or committing that sin?

Thank you for your honesty. The Ask Us Blog generates a lot of questions about this one topic of homosexuality. In the past, I've quoted someone like Brian Pengelly; a Christian man who is homosexual, yet chooses to live in a heterosexual relationship with his wife. He does not claim it is easy - but with prayer, accountability and faith, Brian leads a God-honoring life by choice. Struggling with homosexuality is not easy nor simple (as this article states), but with Christ, it is possible as we have new power over temptation and sin. 

Practically, I would suggest that you deal with this temptation the way you would deal with other temptations: 

(1) Pray continually - asking God for wisdom, strength, patience and courage. Relying on God first is the key!

(2) Seek trusted friends and mentors that will keep you accountable. Check out this site for some resources and testimonies by Christians struggling with this very issue.

(3) Don't put yourself in a place or position to be tempted. This means avoiding certain relationships; media and places that will encourage sinful ideas and thinking.

(4) Be patient and humble [Just because you are a Christian doesn't mean these temptations will go away immediately; some struggle their entire lifetime with this issue, but choose to refrain from giving in and thus lead God-honoring lives].

(5) Remind yourself of how much God loves you. Whatever temptation and weakness you have, God doesn't accept you on the basis of that. He accepts you because of what Jesus did for you, on the cross.

Friend, I'm glad you wrote. You're not alone. Over the course of my ministry, I've talked to dozens of teenagers struggling with sexual issues. Many are Christians who continue to live by faith and try their best - with God's help - to lead Christ-centered lives such as yourself.

[Answered by Pastor HM]

Q: Does 1 Corinthians 6:9 condemn gay relationships?

Is what this guy saying true?



The author of this video, Justin Lee, is the director of the Gay Christian Network (GCN), a gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and straight ally organization and Christianity ministry founded in 2001. The theological beliefs of members of the GCN range from conservative to liberal. On their official website, this is what they write:

Here at GCN, we have two types of gay Christians. On one side are those who are in gay relationships or hope to be someday. On the other side are those who view their same-sex attractions as a temptation, and strive to live celibate lives. We call these views Side A and Side B, and both are well-represented at GCN.

For the record, Justin holds to the "Side A" view and therefore believes God blesses same-sex marriages. While I appreciate Justin's honest testimony of struggle and his desire to lead a godly lifestyle, I don't believe he's right in his interpretation of the text.

The word in question in 1 Cor. 6:9 is the Greek aρσενοκοίτης (arsenokoites) and it refers to "one who lies with a male as with a female." The Greek terms used in this phrase refer to the passive ("effeminate") and active partners in consensual homosexual acts. God clearly condemns this act in 1 Cor. 6:9 as well as in Lev. 18:22, Lev. 20:13, and Romans 1:26-28. I just don't see how Justin can misread the text in the way he does.

Matt Slick gives a good summary of the orthodox Christian view on homosexuality. He also answers some common objections - similar to the ones raised by Justin Lee. Summarily, the "Side A" view is not biblical and should not be held by Christians. The "Side B" view, however, is acceptable: Those who are attracted to the same-sex can lead God-honoring, celibate lives by refusing to give into temptation. An example who has come to speak at our youth service would be Pastor Brian Pengelly. Read his powerful story here.

In closing, I do want to say I have read both Justin's and his friend, Ron's testimonies and were touched by both stories. Justin and Ron don't see eye-to-eye but they show a great deal of respect to each other. I think that's where the Christian evangelical church - in general - has much to learn.

[Answered by Pastor HM]

Q: IS HOMOSEXUALITY A SIN? After reading the answer to the last question regarding homosexuality, I'm still a bit confused. Can you clarify this?

A: Yes. Homosexuality is a sin according to the Bible.

To supplement this, please go here and read the posts already answered about this topic. You will also find a link to the sermon by Brian Pengelly who is a Christian that struggled with homosexuality. Take the time to read these 2 posts and also visit the resources provided.

Q: What is the role of genetics in determining a person's sexual orientation?

In biology class, we were talking about the possible role of genetics in determining a person's sexual orientation. Is it possible that sexual tendencies are predetermined in our genes? How should I explain the Christian perspective to homo/bisexual friends who believe that it is who they are and they can't change it?

Hi friend. This is a great question that has been debated for many years. I would first recommend you to carefully read these two articles: (1) "Is homosexuality genetic?" (2) "Are People Born Gay? The Biological Basis for Sexual Orientation"

Both articles argue that there is substantial proof that links homosexuality directly to genetics. There COULD be a link, but as of today, nothing has been found. That being said, even if there is a genetic predisposition toward homosexuality, this does not mean a person must engage in the act of homosexuality. Homosexual behavior is a choice, after all. This maybe an extreme example, but imagine if we found a genetic predisposition toward violence (some would actually say this has already been found) - does that mean we will allow those with this gene to act upon their violent tendencies? Of course not!

Richard Deem once wrote, "It always amazes me when people say that they were born gay. Looking back on my own experience, I would never say that I was "born straight." I really didn't have any interest in females until about the seventh grade. Before that time, they weren't really interesting, since they weren't interested in sports or riding bikes or anything else I liked to do."

How should I explain the Christian perspective to homo/bisexual friends who believe that it is who they are and they can't change it?

Brian Pengelly, who came to speak at SPLAT last year, wrote two great articles on such a topic. Brian is a man who grew up with an attraction toward men, but by God's power, refrained from pursuing that course in life. The first article is entitled, "Brian's Story: Putting the Pieces Together" and the second, "You Can't Be A Christian - I Don't Hate You!"

In the latter article, Brian describes four ways to reach out to homosexual friends:

1. "Please get to know me!" The most common complaint I heard from my gay friends was that Christians didn't bother to get to know them before telling them what to do. Many Christians had built assumptions about what they must be like, without bothering to see if it was true or not. One told me of being frustrated with Christians railing against homosexuality because of "promiscuous lifestyles" but the ironic thing was the individual was still a virgin. Others told of Christian friends and family members assuming their feelings must be because of sexual abuse, or "just not having met the right guy/girl yet". All responses were tied to Christians not taking time to listen to the person's story, to understand them in the context of their lives, and left the individual feeling unimportant and unloved.

2. Coercion is not okay. Many of my friends told stories of loved ones threatening them in order to motivate them to stop being gay. Some had been thrown out of their home, others had been told that if they didn't change they would receive no more assistance with university tuition. In every case these ultimatums hardened the person's heart against Christianity, forced them to lie, and never brought about the desired change. One friend pointed out how Christian failed the golden rule in this. "How would they feel if their parents forced them to choose between college and their faith?!"

3. "Tell me about Jesus!" For those who had not grown up in Christian homes, telling them what the Bible said had no more persuasive force than someone else trying to influence me by quoting the Quran, or the code of Hannurabi. What my friends were interested in was Jesus. It was only as they got to know Jesus, and saw him reflected in my own life did they begin to care what Scripture said about sexuality.

4. "If you really love me, then care for me!" Most of my friends had heard the phrase "love the sinner, hate the sin" a thousand times, but were hard pressed to come up with concrete examples of how a Christian had ever loved them. Most had found that Christians were afraid to help them or treat them kindly for fear of being perceived as "condoning
their lifestyle". What finally broke down the barriers between us was my willingness to serve them where they were at. In my case it meant giving them rides when they needed it (whether moving them out of an abusive partners apartment, getting them home safe after a night of drinking, or a simple lift home after an event).

[Answered by Pastor HM, with lots of help from his Internet pals!]

Homosexuality and the Exclusivity of Christianity?

My friends and I were having a big conversation/debate about religion. Two of them are Jewish but not really practicing. They had issues trying to accept some things with Christianity.

The first problem was regarding gay marriage and homosexuality. My friends think that Christianity should change as society changes. They think that the whole idea of marriage being man and woman is too traditional and narrow-minded and that we should change our views to suit today's culture.

Then we got into the whole debate about whether you can be gay + christian. Since they don't believe that being gay is sinful, it was difficult to explain how a gay person can confess and become a Christian. Christianity comes off as being very narrow-minded. In their word, we are a bit "superior self-righteous power." One of them said that Christianity is the only religion that won't accept the good aspects of other religions, which are open-minded. They also asked that if someone does not believe in Jesus, etc would they go to heaven? They see Christianity as saying, "You have to live this way and believe what Christians believe, or you are unworthy and will not get into heaven" and "If you are gay, you must convert and repent and become straight and become a Christian."

How can i rephrase my beliefs so that my friends don't picture Christianity as a holier-than-thou, exclusive club that seeks to alienate people who don't believe the same thing? How can i help give my friends a more positive view of Christianity, without denying our attitude toward homosexuality and the fact that there really is only one way to heaven?

Hello. It would seem your friends have two primary concerns (the first is built upon the second):

1. Homosexuality

2. The exclusivity of Christianity as the one true way to God

So let's break it down:

1. Homosexuality

Since your friends are Jewish, they should appreciate and understand this next point: Long before the New Testament was written, the Old Testament condemned the act of homosexuality as immoral and unnatural (Lev. 18:22). So the stance Christians take is not something that the early church "made up." The New Testament affirms the Old Testament.

Your friends make the claim that religion should evolve with the times. I see several flaws in this argument. First, it assumes that something newer is superior to something older. This is known as "chronological snobbery" and it's false. If this were true, then we can argue for allowing any form of evil to be normative in society. For instance, if one day, a group of people start arguing that marrying your own sister should be lawful and moral, by this line of thought, who is to say they are wrong? The second flaw is that the biblical stance on marriage has been the universal understanding in every human civilization in world history. Listen to what this article from Got Questions says:

The Bible alone, however, does not have to be used to demonstrate this understanding of marriage. The biblical viewpoint of marriage has been the universal understanding of marriage in every human civilization in world history. History argues against gay marriage. Modern secular psychology recognizes that men and women are psychologically and emotionally designed to complement one another. In regard to the family, psychologists contend that a union between a man and woman in which both spouses serve as good gender role models is the best environment in which to raise well-adjusted children. Psychology argues against gay marriage. In nature/physicality, clearly, men and women were designed to “fit” together sexually. With the “natural” purpose of sexual intercourse being procreation, clearly only a sexual relationship between a man and a woman can fulfill this purpose. Nature argues against gay marriage.

2. Now, let's talk about your friend's primary concern: The exclusivity of Christianity. There's a few points here:

A. The Bible does not describe homosexuality as a “greater” sin than any other. All sin is offensive to God. Homosexuality is just one of the many things listed in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 that will keep a person from the kingdom of God. According to the Bible, God’s forgiveness is just as available to a homosexual as it is to an adulterer, idol worshipper, murderer, thief, etc. God also promises the strength for victory over sin, including homosexuality, to all those who will believe in Jesus Christ for their salvation (1 Corinthians 6:11; 2 Corinthians 5:17; Philippians 4:13).*

*This is an excerpt from this article.

B. We are not saying there are no truth in other religions. Every culture & religion has some expression of God’s truth. To claim that there is no other name but Jesus doesn’t mean other religions don’t have truth; it is however to claim that those truths are to be examined in light of Jesus Christ who claims to the Truth (John 14:6). C.S. Lewis once wrote, “I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” Lewis isn’t saying you can’t see other truths, but that by Jesus (who is THE Truth), we can truly understand other truths.

C. We are not saying we cannot learn from other religions. Christians can learn a great deal from the rest of the world. The intensity of which a Hindu seeks God can make us look like hypocrites. The discipline a Muslim can make us look very lazy. The missionary commitment of a Mormon puts us to shame.

D. We are not saying that Christianity is the one true religion. Christianity is not the savior; Christ is.

Christianity is claiming that Jesus Christ in the one and only savior who can deliver us from our sins. HE is the issue here. Your friends may say, “Christians are hypocrites” – but that’s not the issue. Yes, there are bad Christians (who don’t love as Jesus loved), but there are also those who follow Jesus and love and would be considered “good Christians.” In the same way, we can say there are bad and good Buddhists, or Mormons, or Muslims. This is not the issue. Christians are not claiming that following their religion gets them to heaven or saves them; Christians are claiming that Jesus does. So Jesus is really the issue; who do you think Jesus is? Why do think this way? On what basis do you believe or not believe who he says he is?

E. Christianity is not the only religion that claims exclusivity. Your friend is wrong to say that Christianity is narrow-minded, while other religions are open-minded. All religions teach different things and therefore are exclusive by nature. Imagine a person says this: “All Chinese look alike.” What would you say about this person? Two things: (1) This person is obviously not Chinese (2) He lacks interest in Chinese people because he never looks at them very hard. It’s the same thing with religion. Let's take a look at some examples...

Muslims radically claim exclusivity - not just theologically but linguistically. They believe that the sole and sufficient miracle of Islam is the Koran. They also believe that it is only recognizable in Arabic and that any translation makes it unsacred.

Hinduism is uncompromising on 3 issues: The law of karma (law of moral cause and effect); the authority of their scriptures (Vedas) and reincarnation.

Buddhism doesn’t believe in a personal God at all

New Age followers believe they are God

Baha’ism claims cosmic embrace of all religions, which means they are excluding exclusivists!

What I’m trying to say is that every faith system is exclusive, because every time you assert something a true; you mean something contrary is false. Truth excludes its opposite. Even those that deny the exclusive nature of truth are actually making a truth claim. That's what your friends have done. By stating that Christianity is narrow-minded, and implying they are open-minded, they have made an exclusive truth claim!

F. Christianity is actually the most inclusive of all faith systems. Other religions assume our ability to secure God's favor & love by doing the right things. What is the implication here? You can be a "good person" if you follow certain rules. Listen to what Dr. Tim Keller says (read this carefully!):

"The universal religion of humankind is: We develop a good record and give it to God, and then he owes us. The gospel is: God develops a good record and gives it to us, then we owe him (Rom. 1:17). In short, to say a good person, not just Christians, can find God is to say good works are enough to find God. So the apparently inclusive approach is really quite exclusive. It says, 'The good people can find God, and the bad people do not.' The gospel says, 'The people who know they aren't good can find God, and the people who think they are good do not.' So both approaches are exclusive, but the gospel's is the more inclusive exclusivity. It says joyfully, 'It doesn't matter who you are or what you've done. It doesn't matter if you've been at the gates of hell. You can be welcomed and embraced fully and instantly through Christ.' "

So friend, take heart. Read as much as you can (I've put some further recommended resources below) about this topic; pray that God would grant you wisdom, patience and courage and talk to your friends again. I've encountered many people that share your friends' viewpoint. There's hope because the gospel has the power the save (Romans 1:16-17).

[Answered by Pastor HM]

http://www.everystudent.com/features/connecting.html

www.reasonablefaith.org - Dr. William Lane Craig's website

The Reason for God, by Timothy Keller (Listen to Keller's talk about exclusivity)

Vintage Jesus, by Mark Driscoll

Evidence That Demands A Verdict, by Josh McDowell

The Case for Faith, by Lee Strobel

Jesus Among Other Gods, by Ravi Zacharias