Q: My dad says that he doesn't fear the Lord, but he respects God. Is he right? And what does it really mean to fear the Lord?

A:  Great Question!  Respect for God is part of the story but not the whole story.  Consider the following.

For the unbeliever, the fear of God is the fear of the judgment of God and eternal death, which is eternal separation from God (Luke 12:5; Hebrews 10:31). For the believer, the fear of God is something much different. The believer's fear is reverence of God. Hebrews 12:28-29 is a good description of this: “Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our ’God is a consuming fire.’”

This reverence and awe is exactly what the fear of God means for Christians. This is the motivating factor for us to surrender to the Creator of the Universe.

Proverbs 1:7 declares, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge.” Until we understand who God is and develop a reverential fear of Him, we cannot have true wisdom. True wisdom comes only from understanding who God is and that He is holy, just, and righteous. Deuteronomy 10:12, 20-21 records, “And now, O Israel, what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul. Fear the LORD your God and serve him. Hold fast to him and take your oaths in his name. He is your praise; he is your God, who performed for you those great and awesome wonders you saw with your own eyes.” The fear of God is the basis for our walking in His ways, serving Him, and, yes, loving Him.

Some redefine the fear of God for believers to “respecting” Him. While respect is definitely included in the concept of fearing God, there is more to it than that. A biblical fear of God, for the believer, includes understanding how much God hates sin and fearing His judgment on sin—even in the life of a believer. Hebrews 12:5-11 describes God’s discipline of the believer. While it is done in love (Hebrews 12:6), it is still a fearful thing. As children, the fear of discipline from our parents no doubt prevented some evil actions. The same should be true in our relationship with God. We should fear His discipline, and therefore seek to live our lives in such a way that pleases Him.

Fearing God means having such a reverence for Him that it has a great impact on the way we live our lives. The fear of God is respecting Him, obeying Him, submitting to His discipline, and worshipping Him in awe.  Fear of God brings with it many blessings and benefits. It is the beginning of wisdom and leads to good understanding (Psalm 111:10). Only fools despise wisdom and discipline (Proverbs 1:7). Furthermore, fear of God leads to life, rest, peace, and contentment (Proverbs 19:23). It is the fountain of life (Proverbs 14:27) and provides a security and a place of safety for us (Proverbs 14:26).

[answered by Pastoral Intern Ray Lee]

Q: The Bible tells us to obey our parents, but what if I know my parent's decisions are wrong?

You are correct (Ephesians 6:1; Colossians 3:20). We should seek to honor our parents in much the same way that we strive to bring honor to God —in our thoughts, words, and behavior. However, while we are required to honor parents, this doesn’t include imitating ungodly ones (Ezekiel 20:18-19). If a parent ever instructs a child to do something that clearly contradicts God’s commands, that child must obey God rather than his/her parents (Acts 5:28). That being said, we must always show patience, respect and love to our parents even if we disagree with them and/or are forced to disobey them.

One crucial question you must humbly ask yourself is this: How do you know that the actions of your parents are wrong? Are you certain that your parents are doing something that is immoral, according to the Bible or is it only your perception? For instance, if your parents tell you that you cannot watch a certain movie, that doesn't go against Scripture. In fact, they probably have a very good reason. In cases such as these, you should obey your parents because it is a matter of disagreement, not immorality.

[Answered by Pastor HM]

Q: How should parents trust their children and children their parents?

This is a broad(er) question, but I'll try my best to offer some biblical help. In Scripture, trust is not simply an emotion. It is faith and belief in the OBJECT of trust. When you are able to trust someone, it means you believe in their character. You cannot, for example, trust a thief or a liar. But you can trust a person who has proven to be honest, fair and faithful. Trust is only as good as the one you put it in. It must be EARNED.

Of course, this applies to our relationship with God. When Isaiah says "I will trust the Lord and will not be afraid" (12:2), he means God is so utterly trustworthy that he does need to fear anything. God has Isaiah's good in mind, so whatever Isaiah goes through, he trusts in God.

This also applies to our relationship with our parents. How do you trust your parents? By believing in their character. Think of all the times in your past when your parents have come through for you. Think of all the sacrifices your parents haven made for you. When you are frustrated or angry at your parents, step back and know that your parents ultimately have your best interests in mind.

That being said, trusting a person is not easy. This includes your parents. Your parents are not perfect. They will make mistakes. They are sinners. That is why ultimately you must trust God first before trusting your parents. Know that God - unlike your earthly father - is perfect. He always has your goodness in mind. He allows things to happen to you to build you up. He will never abandon or leave you.

Consider what Jesus said in Matthew 7:9-11 (ESV):

Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

Part of trusting in God means trusting that he gave you...your parents! Even with all their weaknesses and bad habits, they ARE your parents, and God instructs us to honour and obey them (Deut. 5:16). And honouring and obeying your parents means to trust them - even if you do not agree with them at times.

Hope this helps. In terms parents trusting their children, I believe the same principle applies. Children must earn the trust of their parents. They must prove their character is one of honesty, faithfulness and responsibility. Parents must also trust in God, and believe that God gave them their children as a gift. Ephesians 6:4 says, "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." This means fathers should not dominate or act harshly toward their children. Parents too must put trust in the children, bringing them up gently and correcting them lovingly when they are wrong. Children should have opportunities to prove themselves and to earn the trust of their parents.

[Answered by Pastor HM, who is learning to trust, but more importantly, learning to be trustworthy]