There is a girl that goes to my school whom a lot of people tend to make fun of and hate on. I feel bad that I am also guilty of laughing along sometimes and just being a bystander. But I've realized that it's really mean and I really don't mind being friends with her. I don't really care about what other people think if they see us together and I know I shouldn't be ashamed of being friends with her. What does the bible say about standing up for others, not following the crowd and not caring about the judgment of others?
Bullying Is A Problem
Every day thousands of teens wake up afraid to go to school. Bullying is a problem that affects millions of students, and it has everyone worried, not just the kids on its receiving end. Yet because parents, teachers, and other adults don't always see it, they may not understand how extreme bullying can get. Bullying occurs when a person is picked on over and over again by an individual or group. Two of the main reasons people are bullied are because of appearance and social status. Bullies pick on the people they think don't fit in, maybe because of how they look, how they act, kids who are shy and withdrawn, or because of their race or religion.
It sounds like your friend is experiencing verbal bullying that includes name-calling, taunting, teasing and insulting comments. Verbal bullying can also involve sending cruel instant or email messages or even posting insults about a person on a website. One of the most painful aspects of bullying is that it is relentless. Most people can take one episode of teasing or name calling. However, when it goes on and on, bullying can put a person in a state of constant fear.
What Does The Bible Say
The Bible also has many stories about bullies and people being bullied. For example the story of David and Goliath [1 Samuel 16, 18-19] and Saul who becomes Paul the apostle [Acts 9:1-19; 22:3-16; 26:4-18]. Two passages that are helpful are 2 Timothy 4:16-18 [“At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them. But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion's mouth. The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen”] and Luke 6:27-28 [“But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you”].
Bullying Is A Problem
Every day thousands of teens wake up afraid to go to school. Bullying is a problem that affects millions of students, and it has everyone worried, not just the kids on its receiving end. Yet because parents, teachers, and other adults don't always see it, they may not understand how extreme bullying can get. Bullying occurs when a person is picked on over and over again by an individual or group. Two of the main reasons people are bullied are because of appearance and social status. Bullies pick on the people they think don't fit in, maybe because of how they look, how they act, kids who are shy and withdrawn, or because of their race or religion.
It sounds like your friend is experiencing verbal bullying that includes name-calling, taunting, teasing and insulting comments. Verbal bullying can also involve sending cruel instant or email messages or even posting insults about a person on a website. One of the most painful aspects of bullying is that it is relentless. Most people can take one episode of teasing or name calling. However, when it goes on and on, bullying can put a person in a state of constant fear.
What Does The Bible Say
The Bible also has many stories about bullies and people being bullied. For example the story of David and Goliath [1 Samuel 16, 18-19] and Saul who becomes Paul the apostle [Acts 9:1-19; 22:3-16; 26:4-18]. Two passages that are helpful are 2 Timothy 4:16-18 [“At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them. But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion's mouth. The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen”] and Luke 6:27-28 [“But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you”].
Consider the following principles:
- Learn to forgive, pray for and yes … learn to love the bully.
- Don't hang around with the bully - not only for your safety but to avoid being unduly influenced by people of questionable character.
- Trust God to take care of you.
- Remember that you are never alone, even with no one around. God is always by your side.
As you seek to be a friend, remember that a friend is one with whom you can be yourself and never fear that he or she will judge you. A friend is someone that you can confide in with complete trust. A friend can console and help us when we are in trouble. A friend is someone you respect and that respects you. An example of true friendship is the story of David and Saul's son Jonathan, who, in spite of his father Saul's pursuit of David and attempts to kill him, stood by his friend [1 Samuel 18:1-4; 19: 4-7; 20:11-17, 41-42].
What Can You Do?
What Can You Do?
If your friend is being bullied, try and talk to them about it. Let them know that as a friend, you want to help. Tell them that you'll be there for them whenever they need to talk, and take their problem seriously. If your friend has somebody to talk to like you, they won't feel so alone. Just knowing that there's someone on their side can help people who have become a target for people who bully. It's also important to tell them that it's not their fault they're being bullied, it's the person bullying who has the problem. They don't have to put up with it. It can be difficult when you know someone is being bullied. Bullying isn't a friendly thing to do. It's wrong and shouldn't be accepted by anyone.
Here are some things that may help you and your friend handle the verbal bullying:
- Ignore The Bully And Walk Away. Bullies thrive on the reaction they get, and if you walk away, or ignore hurtful emails or instant messages, you're telling the bully that you don't care. Sooner or later the bully will probably get bored with trying to bother you.
- Hold The Anger. Anger is the response he or she is trying to get. Bullies want to know they have control over your emotions.
- Don't Get Physical. Don't use physical force (like kicking, hitting, or pushing). Not only are you showing your anger, you can never be sure what the bully will do in response.
- Talk About It and Tell Someone. It may help to talk to a guidance counselor, teacher, friend, trusted adult or Pastor — anyone who can give you the support you need before the bullying escalates. Talking can be a good outlet for the fears and frustrations that can build when you're being bullied.
- Find Your (True) Friends. If you've been bullied, find one or two true friends and confide how the bullying has hurt your feelings. Set the record straight by telling your friends quietly and confidently what's true and not true about you. Hearing a friend say, "I know the rumor's not true. I didn't pay attention to it," can help you realize that most of the time people see gossip for what it is — petty, rude, and immature. Perhaps you are that special friend who’s willing to take the time to care and listen.
GREAT QUESTION. THANKS FOR ASKING!
[Answered by Ray Lee, Summer Intern]
