Great question. This is not an easy one to answer, but there is a chapter in a book by Pastor Bill Hybels entitled, "The Mystery of Unanswered Prayer," that will help. Hybels gives 3 reasons why prayer may go left unanswered:
1. If the request is wrong, God will say, "No."
Like us, the disciples made inappropriate requests of Jesus, and he said, "No."
Hybels describes a time when the board of elders at his church prayed fervently for a person to fill a staff position. Once they had decided who they wanted to join the team, Bill sat down to lunch with the man and prayed that God would provide the right opportunity for him to make the offer. He sensed God saying, "No." Later, the elders discovered that the man had deception in his life and he would indeed have been a bad fit for the job.
2. If the timing is wrong, God will say, "Slow."
Like children, we dislike the words, "Not yet," as God shakes his head at us.
God has reasons for his "Not yets" we must not insist we know better than he.
3. If you are wrong, God will say, "Grow."
Relational discord will cut us off from close fellowship with God.
When we disobey, God says, "Why should I honor your requests when you don't honor mine?"
Hybels then provides a fourth reason but the outcome is ANSWERED prayer.
4. When the timing, request and your own heart are right, God will say, "Let's go!"
God wants to move that mountain for us; to change that circumstance; to answer that prayer.
You'll be amazed at how often God will say, "Let's go!"
So friend, take heart. God has a good reason to leave some of your prayers unanswered. Perhaps the timing or the request itself is wrong. Maybe something in your life is not God-honoring. Whatever it is, continue to pray to God. He'll answer you in his own (& perfect) timing.
[Answered by Pastor HM]
I would recommend listening to this sermon as well, by Dr. John Ortberg - one of today's leading thinkers about spiritual formation.
