Q: Shunned?

I'm going into my senior year at school and since tenth grade, my class has pretty much shunned me for everything. It got pretty bad last year as to having my average drop from an 87% to a 63%. It's my last year at the school and I know I should make the best out of it. I've learned during the summer how love should work and why it should work the way it does. I'm trying, but even if I see one of my classmates from school at my youth group, I can't bring myself to start a small conversation without feeling bitter. I don't know what I’m supposed to be asking, but I’m pretty much just wondering how to get through the next year with my class. I have friends in other grades, but I mean, it is senior year and I should be spending more time with my class before we leave for university. Anything I can do?

GREAT QUESTION! Human beings were created to be social creatures, meaning that we are most comfortable when we have family, friends and acquaintances. Friendship is an important element in a fulfilled, contented life, and those who have close friends, whether one or two or a multitude, will usually be happy and well-adjusted. At the same time, those who call themselves our friends may cause us grief and hardship, and at times disappointing us. 

TRUE FRIENDSHIP

The Lord Jesus Christ gave us the definition of a true friend: "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you" (John 15:13-15). Jesus is the pure example of a true friend, for He laid down His life for His "friends." What is more, anyone may become His friend by trusting in Him as his personal savior, being born again and receiving new life in Him.
 
There is an example of true friendship between David and Saul's son Jonathan, who, in spite of his father Saul's pursuit of David and attempts to kill him, stood by his friend. You will find that story in 1 Samuel chapter 18 through chapter 20. Some pertinent passages are 1 Samuel 18:1-4; 19: 4-7; 20:11-17, 41-42.  Proverbs is another good source of wisdom regarding friends: Proverbs 17:17; Proverbs 18:24. The issue here is to remember that in order to have a friend, one must be a friend: Proverbs 27:6; Proverbs 27:17.
 
Friends are of like mind. The truth that comes from all of this is a friendship is a relationship that is entered into by individuals, and it is only as good or as close as those individuals choose to make it. Someone has said that if you can count your true friends on the fingers of one hand, you are blessed. A friend is one whom you can be yourself with and never fear that he or she will judge you. A friend is someone that you can confide in with complete trust. A friend is someone you respect and that respects you, not based upon worthiness but based upon a likeness of mind.

 
Friendship can have its negative aspects as well. Supposed friends can lead us into sin (2 Samuel 13:1-6).  A friend can lead us astray in regard to our faith (Deuteronomy 13:6-11), provide false comfort and bad advice (Job 2:11-13, 6:14-27, 42:7-9). Friends can also prove false, pretending affection for their own motives and deserting us when our friendship no longer benefits them (Psalm 55:12-14; Proverbs 19:4, 6-7). Friendship can be broken down through gossip (Proverbs 16:28) or grudges (Proverbs 17:9) or in your case – being deliberately avoided or shunned by your friends.

Friends should be chosen very carefully because, as Paul told the Corinthians, “bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33). Proverbs 1:10-19 and 4:14-19 contains warnings about friends and how we should choose them. We are not to associate with those who entice us to do wrong, no matter how appealing their “friendship” seems to be. 

BEING SHUNNED

Many of us have probably felt shunned by our friends at one point or another and most often than not those feelings may have caused some disagreements and hurt feelings. The thing about shunning is that sometimes those may not have been our intention and because nobody speaks up about what has happened the situation gets out of control. 

Know that as born-again believers we have a resource in God's Word that can bring comfort and clarity to this situation. One person or even a group's rejection does not mean we are unlovable.  We can choose to allow rejection to determine how we feel and allow that feeling to color our idea of who we are, or we can choose to put that behind us and move forward on the basis of something that is far more lasting.

For believers, we need to remember our position in Christ. When we are born again, we are accepted. "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves" (Ephesians 1:3-6).
 
Even though we do not deserve it nor can we earn it (Ephesians 2:8-9), the Lord Jesus Christ has blessed us with every spiritual blessing and has made us accepted in Him. This acceptance is His gift of grace, and it transcends any and all other "feelings" we may have because it is not based on "hope so" but on "know so." We know that this is true because God's Word tells us, and as we believe this truth by faith, it becomes reality in our hearts and lives.
 
As believers we are not defined by our past failures or by disappointment or by the rejection of others. We are defined as children of God, born again to newness of life and endowed with every spiritual blessing and accepted in Christ Jesus. That is the defining factor when it comes to victorious living. God has prepared for each of us unique opportunities to walk through the "all things" of this life. We can either walk in our own strength and what the Apostle Paul calls our "flesh," or we can walk in the power of the provision God has made for us through the Holy Spirit. It is our choice. God has provided us with armor (Ephesians 6:11-18), but it is up to us to put it on by faith.

Therefore, if you are a child of God, you may suffer disappointment in this life, but you need to remember that as a child of the King, this rejection is a momentary bump in the road. You have a choice to either allow that bump to derail you and walk wounded, or you can choose to claim the heritage of a child of God and move forward in grace. Forgiveness of others and of self is a gift that you can give because it is the gift given to you by the Lord Jesus Christ (Ephesians 4:32).

If your friends in your senior year won't talk to you then most likely you are not going to be able to get a response as to why they shunned you or why they may have avoided you through these past few years.  Perhaps you are going to need to just move forward in your life, making new friends, prepare for this coming school year and future campus life.  You have already demonstrated that you can be a top student.  So focus on doing well in school, serving and developing your friendships in fellowship.  Remember that once you graduate from high school, everyone will be heading off to different campuses, different parts of the province and world.  That may mean focusing on the friends you already have and seeking to build new relationships with others in your senior grade that have common interests with you.

Seek to be that true friend like the example of David and Jonathan and you will find that people will be drawn to you.  Be open, friendly and kind to all.  

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”


[Answered by Ray Lee, Summer Intern]

Q: Why doesn’t God make Himself visible to us? Why doesn’t He make everything in this world easy to understand?

A:  People often claim that if Jesus would appear in front of them or make everything easy to understand they would believe. They claim that the reason they just can't believe is because they can't see Jesus or any evidence of Him.

So why would a loving God, who wants us to believe not make himself visible so that we would all believe? The answer is simple, He tried that once. Look at the life of Jesus. He taught here on earth for 3 years, and many people did believe but many still did not. He healed the crippled and made them walk. He healed the blind and made them see. He even raised people from the dead. Still many people did not believe that He was the Son of God.

He even told a story of a rich man who had it all and died and a poor man who also died. The rich man was in torment but could see the poor man who was now taking it easy in what we would consider heaven, but at that time, (before Jesus died) it was called paradise. After being told that there was nothing that could be done to help him, the rich man asked that the poor man be sent back to talk to his brothers so they would not end up where he was. Luke 16:31 says, "He said to him, 'If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.'" This verse is very important. Remember Jesus told this story before His own death and resurrection. He was right, many of those who refused to believe before His death still refused to believe after He arose from the dead.

Remember how the disciples were changed after seeing Jesus after His death, but they did not have a clue until they saw Him. In John 20:27-29 he said to Thomas: "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe." Thomas said to him, "My Lord and my God!" Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." Do you realize Jesus was talking to Thomas about us? We are the ones who are blessed because we believe even though we have not seen Him. But don't miss what He told Thomas: Stop doubting and believe!

For instance let’s say that you are on one side of a deep pit and another person is on the other side. There is a bridge over the pit but you know that it is not safe so you tell the other person not to go out on it but they tell you they don't believe you. They then go out on the bridge and start jumping up and down, and sure enough the bridge gives way and they are killed. What will your reaction be? Will you admire them because they checked everything out for themselves? Or will you think they were stupid, because they would not listen to you? They could not see that the bridge was weak, so why should they believe you?

Does it make you feel good when people trust you? Does it make you mad when people refuse to trust what you say? God has done many things to prove to mankind that He exists but we keep refusing. He takes trust and belief very seriously. John 3:18 tells us that whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son.

What does God require of us to be saved? People asked Jesus the same question in John 6:28-29. Then they asked him, "What must we do to do the works God requires?" Jesus answered, "The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent." The one who was sent was Jesus. That is all God requires of us, that we believe.

People claim that because God does not show himself visibly to them proves that He does not really want to save everyone. That is a lie. In fact we are told in 1 Timothy 1:15-16, “Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.”

God has revealed enough of His nature for us to be able to trust Him. He has declared and shown through the events of history, in the workings of nature, and through the life of His only-begotten Son, Jesus Christ, that He is all-powerful, all-knowing, all-wise, all-loving, all-holy, unchanging, and eternal. He has shown that He is worthy to be trusted. But as with the Israelites in the wilderness, the choice is ours as to whether or not we will trust Him.

Often, one is inclined to make this choice based on what he/she thinks he knows about God rather than what He has revealed about Himself and can be understood about Him through a careful study of His inerrant word, the Bible.



If we are honest, we have to admit that there are many things we don't understand about God and about life. We do not have final answers to the deep problems of life. There are areas of mystery in our Christian faith that lie beyond quick answers or even the most profound spiritual exercises. For many people, these problems raise so many questions and uncertainties that faith itself becomes a struggle, and the very person and character of God are called into question. Instead, let’s encourage one another to face up to the limitations of our understanding and to acknowledge the pain and grief they can often cause. Instead let’s be like the psalmist in Psalm 73:28: “But it is good for me to draw near to God; I have put my trust in the Lord God and made Him my refuge that I may tell of all your works.”

For those who refuse to believe, we cannot blame God. Based on the evidence of the life of Christ and the Bible, we have all the proof we need right before us. All we have to do is believe and we will be saved. The decision is up to each person. We need to remember that only we can make this decision while we are still alive. Once we die it is too late, our fate is sealed.

[answered by Pastoral Intern, Ray Lee]

Q: Does "An Eye For An Eye And A Tooth For A Tooth" In The OT Contradict What Jesus Teaches?

A: Yes in fact Jesus’ teaching is confronting the popular misuse and abuse of the Old Testament law, known as the law of retaliation. The Old Testament rule in Moses’ law was to guide judges in pronouncing their sentences. Jesus was opposing the manner in which the rabbis, scribes and Pharisees were presenting the rule to the people as a divine right to punish wrongdoers. Jesus was emphasizing the moral demand that one must not seek revenge as set out in Leviticus 19:18 and Romans 12:19.

In the Old Testament we read:

Exodus 21:22-25 “… eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot …” This passage is cited in a way that protected a pregnant woman and her child from death or injury that might occur if two men were in a fight.

Leviticus 24:17-22 “… fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth. As he has injured the other, so he is to be injured.” This passage is applied generally to any case where a crime of murder or intentional maiming occurred.

Deuteronomy 19:15-21 “Show no pity: life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot.” This occurs in a passage to prevent perjury and in attempting to use the court to execute or punish an innocent individual.

The literal meaning of the principle “Eye for an Eye” is that a person who has injured the eye of another is instructed to give the value of his or her own eye in compensation. At the root of this principle and purpose of the law is to provide equitable and fair compensation or punishment for an offended party. A person who has injured the eye of another is instructed to give the value of his or her own eye in compensation. It both defined and restricted the extent of compensation or the deserved penalty. The punishment must fit the crime – no more than the crime but also no less. It was strict but fair.

The law and principle was designed to prevent and deter such crimes. It was there to remove vengeful actions for crimes from the hands of the victim and his family and put them into the hands of the governing judicial system. It was designed as a principle of proportional justice and to appropriately punish the offender. This law was given to Moses and the people of Israel to assure that the judges would render righteous and proper judgment. In every instance in the Old Testament when a reference was made to "an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth," it was referring to judgment rendered by judges. A punishment sufficient to serve as a deterrent to the crime was to be rendered. This law was to insure against a judgment being rendered that was excessive and beyond reason.

The people of Israel had abused this rule by making it an excuse for retaliation and vengeance. They construed it as saying, "If someone knocks out my tooth, I have a moral right to knock out his tooth." But God had not intended this rule to authorize violence. Rather, He had given it to prevent what we call cruel and unusual punishment. In other words, just as a court in our time cannot impose penalties beyond certain limits, so also the judges of Israel could not dictate a punishment out of proportion to the damage done. If one man had wrongfully taken the sight of another, the offender could suffer no more in punishment than the loss of his own sight.

Too much of the world’s ethic today is also to: 1) strike back; 2) get even; 3) do unto others like they do to you. Many times the justification for retaliation is that ancient law, “… an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.”

In the New Testament, Jesus says in Matthew 5:38-39, “You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.” This suggests discussion and likely debate in the Jewish community on the Old Testament law and the interpretation given to it by the judges, scribes and Pharisees. With this expression, Jesus is saying there is a contrast between what He is teaching and what the Jewish leaders have taught. Jesus dismissed the rule of eye-for-eye as invalid. He was not contradicting Scripture, but rather its misapplication.

Jesus continues in the rest of the passage in v. 40-42 and says, “And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.” Jesus’ teaching here is confronting the popular misuse and abuse of the Old Testament law, known as the law of retaliation.

What does Jesus mean? Who is the evil person? The following four examples in this passage clarify this. The evil person is the person who: 1) slaps you on the cheek; 2) sues you for your clothes; 3) asks you to go a mile; or 4) asks you for money.

Notice also the change in perspective Jesus is giving compared to the Old Testament law. The Old Testament law addressed what the judges should do to the person who committed a criminal offense related to murder or maiming. Jesus has a different perspective. He addresses the issue on what you should do if offenses of conflict or insult happen to you. Jesus addresses not what the court or government should do, but what a disciple and Christ-follower should do when he or she is offended.

We understand the original teaching from the Old Testament is made with the intention to limit violence, and violent retribution or revenge. So, to begin with we start with something essentially good - made with proper intent to limit violence. Jesus will take it further in this passage, just as he has done with the other Laws he has cited and expounded further. Here Jesus warned his disciples not to resist violence with more violence. This was contrary to the OT passages cited above. Evil, and the evil person, can be overcome only by good. This keeps us free from anger -- from being poisoned by the evil directed against us and its destructive forces -- and instructs his followers to maintain Christian tolerance and restraint. It brings both us and our enemies under the yoke and umbrella of God's love.

What should Jesus’ disciples and followers do? Do not resist or retaliate? Yes, but Jesus’ call to discipleship goes beyond a passive response. He further calls us to take positive action: 1) turn the other cheek; 2) give your cloak as well as your tunic; 3) go the extra mile; and 4) give or lend to the person who asks you.

Jesus’ teaching is not merely legal and technical, but extends deeply and profoundly into the practical situations of conflict, oppression, and the needs of everyday life. When we are offended or insulted, we have two choices: we can escalate the conflict with retaliation, or we can de-escalate the conflict. Jesus calls his disciples and followers to be peacemakers in situations of conflict and instead extend a blessing.

Matthew 5:9 says, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.”

[answered by Pastoral Intern, Ray Lee]

Q: How do I refrain myself from homosexuality?

I know that being a homosexual is a sin, but what I can do to refrain myself from homosexuality or committing that sin?

Thank you for your honesty. The Ask Us Blog generates a lot of questions about this one topic of homosexuality. In the past, I've quoted someone like Brian Pengelly; a Christian man who is homosexual, yet chooses to live in a heterosexual relationship with his wife. He does not claim it is easy - but with prayer, accountability and faith, Brian leads a God-honoring life by choice. Struggling with homosexuality is not easy nor simple (as this article states), but with Christ, it is possible as we have new power over temptation and sin. 

Practically, I would suggest that you deal with this temptation the way you would deal with other temptations: 

(1) Pray continually - asking God for wisdom, strength, patience and courage. Relying on God first is the key!

(2) Seek trusted friends and mentors that will keep you accountable. Check out this site for some resources and testimonies by Christians struggling with this very issue.

(3) Don't put yourself in a place or position to be tempted. This means avoiding certain relationships; media and places that will encourage sinful ideas and thinking.

(4) Be patient and humble [Just because you are a Christian doesn't mean these temptations will go away immediately; some struggle their entire lifetime with this issue, but choose to refrain from giving in and thus lead God-honoring lives].

(5) Remind yourself of how much God loves you. Whatever temptation and weakness you have, God doesn't accept you on the basis of that. He accepts you because of what Jesus did for you, on the cross.

Friend, I'm glad you wrote. You're not alone. Over the course of my ministry, I've talked to dozens of teenagers struggling with sexual issues. Many are Christians who continue to live by faith and try their best - with God's help - to lead Christ-centered lives such as yourself.

[Answered by Pastor HM]

Q: I have no motivation to pray. Help?

I feel like I am drifting away from God and my faith isn't as strong as it use to be. I use to pray every single night and have motivation to go to church but these days I have been too tired and I just end up falling asleep before I get to praying. What can I do?

I think all Christians have gone through what you've just described, so you're not alone, friend. I suppose the first question I'd ask yourself is: What was the motivation to pray and to go to church? If you pray and attend worship out of a sense of duty or to get something, then it is inevitable that your spiritual life will continue to be dry, boring and exhausting. Listen to what Pastor Tim Keller says:

There can be long lists of things that we pray for, and long lists of Bible verses we read, and long lists of things we thank him for. Yet there is no fire. Why? If we lose focus on the glory of God in the gospel as the solution to all our problems, then we devolve into a set of "grocery list" prayers, made rather desperately. When we are done, we only feel more anxious than before. The presence of God is not sensed because God is really just being used – he is not being worshipped.

Instead, we should always remember that the first thing we need is a new perspective on our needs and problems. We should always intertwine with repentance over our unbelief and indifference to God's grace. On the one hand, we must "pray into" ourselves that the thing we are asking for is not our Savior or God or glory! But, (on the other hand) after we repent and refine our desire, we should "pray into" ourselves that God is our Father and wants to give us good things, so we can ask in confidence. Also, intertwined with our petitions should be praise and marveling that we are able to approach God, and be welcomed in Christ.

This is gospel-centered prayer, rather than anxious petitioning. Our desires are always idolatrous to some degree, and when we pray without dealing with that first, we find our prayers only make us more anxious. Instead, we should always say, in effect, "Lord, let me see your glory as I haven't before, let me be so ravished with your grace that worry and self-pity and anger and indifference melt away!" Then, when we turn to ask God for admission to grad school or healing of an illness, those issues will be put in proper perspective. We will say, "Lord, I ask for this because I think it will glorify you – so help me get it, or support me without it." If the overall focus of the prayer is on God's glory and the gospel, our individual petitions will be made with great peace and confidence.

So friend, the first thing I'd do is to examine your motives and start praying for God to reveal his presence to you. Don't immediately pray about what you want; pray for God's presence to fill your life. That will ignite your passion again and again!

Second, on a more practical note, are you getting enough rest? If you are exhausted and leave your prayer (& devotion time) at the end of the day, you can't devote your best energy. I would suggest you try another time to pray. Usually, I spend some time in the morning to do my devotions as I have the most energy and alertness. In the evening, I only say a short, 'goodnight' prayer to God. For additional information, I recommend you read this blog post about "devotional times."

[Answered by Pastor HM]

Q: What does it mean when God leaves our prayers unanswered?

Great question. This is not an easy one to answer, but there is a chapter in a book by Pastor Bill Hybels entitled, "The Mystery of Unanswered Prayer," that will help. Hybels gives 3 reasons why prayer may go left unanswered:

1. If the request is wrong, God will say, "No."

Like us, the disciples made inappropriate requests of Jesus, and he said, "No."

Hybels describes a time when the board of elders at his church prayed fervently for a person to fill a staff position. Once they had decided who they wanted to join the team, Bill sat down to lunch with the man and prayed that God would provide the right opportunity for him to make the offer. He sensed God saying, "No." Later, the elders discovered that the man had deception in his life and he would indeed have been a bad fit for the job.

2. If the timing is wrong, God will say, "Slow."

Like children, we dislike the words, "Not yet," as God shakes his head at us.

God has reasons for his "Not yets" we must not insist we know better than he.

3. If you are wrong, God will say, "Grow."

Relational discord will cut us off from close fellowship with God.

When we disobey, God says, "Why should I honor your requests when you don't honor mine?"

Hybels then provides a fourth reason but the outcome is ANSWERED prayer.

4. When the timing, request and your own heart are right, God will say, "Let's go!"

God wants to move that mountain for us; to change that circumstance; to answer that prayer.

You'll be amazed at how often God will say, "Let's go!"

So friend, take heart. God has a good reason to leave some of your prayers unanswered. Perhaps the timing or the request itself is wrong. Maybe something in your life is not God-honoring. Whatever it is, continue to pray to God. He'll answer you in his own (& perfect) timing.

[Answered by Pastor HM]

I would recommend listening to this sermon as well, by Dr. John Ortberg - one of today's leading thinkers about spiritual formation.

Prayer: Does It Matter? "The Mystery of Unanswered Prayer" from MPPC on Vimeo.

Q: Earth is 6000 years old, or 4.6 billion?

According to the genealogy of the Bible, the age of the Earth is around 6000 years old. With the scientific evidence today, scientists have estimated the world to be 4.6 billion years old. Who's right?

I would read this article by Pastor Driscoll of Seattle, specifically the section entitled "How old is the Earth?" He writes:

The general scientific consensus based upon radiometric dating is that the earth is very old, perhaps even 4.5 billion years old. Some Christians have sought to refute this finding by declaring that the universal flood in Genesis 6-9 altered the earth's geology so greatly that the earth now appears old. But non-Christian scientists have countered by arguing that they have also tested rocks and meteors that have come from the moon and landed on the earth which also date to the same age as the earth, roughly 4.5 billion years old. Many Christians have disregarded radiometric dating as flawed and inaccurate...

In the end, it must be admitted that the age of the earth is simply not stated in the Bible and it may be young or old. Futhermore, both young and old earth advocates are inferring from the Bible a position that the Bible simply does not clearly state. It must also be admitted that the age of the earth is not a great concern in the Bible; as Augustine rightly said, it is not a scientific textbook seeking to answer the ever-changing inquiries of science, but rather a theological textbook seeking to reveal God and the means by which He saves us.  

It is also very important to read the 6 possible interpretations of the Genesis account. The account that Driscoll (and I agree it seems to make the most sense) is that of "Historical Creationism":

In this view, Genesis 1:1 records the making of all of creation by God out of nothing (or ex nihilo) through a merism of "heavens and earth," which means the sky above and land below, or the totality of creation. Since the word used for "beginning" in Genesis 1:1 is reshit in Hebrew, which means an indefinite period of time, it is likely that all of creation was completed over an extended period of time (anywhere from days to billions of years). Then Genesis 1:2 begins the description of God preparing the uninhabitable land for the creation of mankind. The preparation of the uncultivated land for and creation of Adam and Eve occurred in six literal twenty-four hour days. This view leaves open the possibility of both an old earth and six literal days of creation.

Summarily, the Bible's account of creation is compatible with the view that the world is 4.6+ billion years old.  

[Answered by Pastor HM]

Q: Can you give me advise on what to do if you ever 'lost touch' with God?

...What i mean by that is when you feel like you don't feel the same love and affections towards God, as you did the first time you followed Him. And when you pray for Him to help you rediscover him, it seems like the best you can do seems like an 'empty prayer'. I really want to get my passion back, but I've been waiting for months
and my prayers are left unanswered. I can't even make it to church because I'm the only Christian in my family and I'm still a young teen. Please pray for me, and I need you're advice.

A:  I think your situation is something all Christian encounter at some point in their walk with God. First, I want to say although God may feel out of touch, His love for you is unwavering and is constant.

The beginning part of any relationship is often exciting and filled with love and affection, however, the after the “honeymoon” stage is over, this is when the real work begins. I think the key idea is when we choose to follow Jesus, we are in a relationship with him, and that means to make opportunities to discover everyday – whether it is reading His word, participating in Bible studies or engaging in conversations with an accountability partner. But more importantly, it also means to follow and live out His commands. I believe one of the many factors that cause Christians to feel “out of touch” with God is because not only do we not devote enough time to learning more about Him but we also shy away from living out our faith. Unfortunately, time often passes quicker then we know, and the numerous opportunities that we pass up not to live our faith causes us to grow farther away from God.

If you really want to get your passion back for God, it’s not about waiting, because the passion won’t just suddenly hit you like the wind. Rather, it’s more about doing, acting, and living! I encourage you to start immersing yourself in an environment where you can be fed in God’s word and live out the lessons that He is teaching you. I do believe you are in a challenging situation being the only believer in your family, however there are many resources that are out there that can help support you in your walk with God. There are some great resources out there that can also help you! You can visit http://splat.rhccc.ca/ to listen to podcasts of sermons that are from our Youth service, or even reading the Bible everyday (perhaps begin with John!) or other devotional books.

I will definitely pray for you and I know that when you begin to take the steps to draw yourself closer to Him, God will meet you with his overwhelming love and affection.

[answered by Bernice Nei, Agape Counselor]

Q: Why is there so much bloodshed and murder in the Old Testament? God sent his people to slaughter entire cities, including men, women and children...

...Why Children? Maybe the men and women have done things God cannot allow, but children... They probably don't even know what they're doing. They're not given a chance to repent!

A:  This is an interesting question that has huge implications. In answering your question, I draw some of my insights from this article (http://tinyurl.com/28hwslu); I encourage you to give that a read if you have time.

I think it’s important to establish that from a divine justice point of view, we are deserving of nothing good. If God is God, and we are imperfect humans that fall short of His standards, then we have no right to demand anything from God. In fact, we should be punished for our sin with death, sickness, suffering, guilt, and every bad thing, in this life and in the life to come; this is what we deserve (Rom 6:23).

This is obviously a very counter-cultural teaching, as the world tells us that we are all entitled to basic rights and freedoms. In Canada, there are basic rights and freedoms that are guaranteed to us in our constitution and upheld by the law. According to our laws, we do “deserve” these things. On a side note, I would argue that these are good things, and that we should uphold basic rights. However, we should be careful not to extrapolate these basic human rights to holding any weight before God. As I stated earlier, we aren’t entitled to anything before God. We simply have no bargaining chips to negotiate with (Rom 3:23). That we are NOT dead, and that some even have a chance to know God, is already more than we deserve; it’s bonus.

As you process that reality, another problem in our thinking is separating the God of the OT (Old Testament) from the God of the NT (New Testament). Most of us are more willing to believe in a God that loves, and forgives, and lays His life down for us. It may seem a shock that the God of the OT could be so cruel as to command His people to kill entire cities. Though this loving depiction of God in the NT is not wrong, it is incomplete. And so is the view of a cruel God in the OT. In the NT, God demanded righteousness of his people, and even went to the extent of striking down members of the church (Acts 5) who tried to deceive Him. That standard for righteousness has not been watered down from the OT to the NT. Jesus asserted that he didn’t come to abolish the law, but to fulfill it (meaning he wasn’t undoing the OT). Likewise, the God of the OT was not as cruel as we generally make Him out to be; He showed many acts of tender care for His people, and even for those who were not His chosen people. In the story of Jonah, he mercifully sent the prophet to stop the city from living in sin. When they repented, he gladly spared them. Though the times changed, and the writing styles and authors changed, the God of the OT is indeed consistent with the God of the NT. It is important that we look to both to give us a full picture of God.

In fact, to believe that God was cruel then (in the OT), is similar to believing that He is cruel now. God is unchanging (Jam 1:17). When you look at recent catastrophes, like 9/11 or the tsunami, there were great amounts of death. Victims included men, women, children, Christians, Muslims, atheists, all killed by the catastrophes. As I argued above, none of us are truly innocent or undeserving of death, and none of us have a case to bring before God that “He shouldn’t have killed us”. If you believe God to be omnipotent and omniscient (all-powerful and all-knowing), then the fact that He foresaw these disasters, and chose not to prevent them (even though He was strong enough to), could be seen as cruel in the same light.

In reality, what we read about in the Bible is that God’s ways are beyond our ways. It’s difficult to wrap our heads around, but God actually cares more about the victims of catastrophes and injustices; infinitely more than we do. Remember, He created them (Psa 139). And just because He permits the acts to happen, does not mean He’s rejoicing. Instead He mourns. But everything God does is love, and in some way (that is totally beyond our understanding), God can act in love, expand His kingdom, and yet permit these killings.

I think the proper thing to do in our current position is give thanks to God. Give thanks that you’re even alive (when technically we all deserve not to be). Give thanks that you’re able to repent (if you’re reading this, you have the capacity to repent). Give thanks if you’ve heard the Gospel and accepted it. And give thanks for any other good thing in your life (whether friends, family, food, school, etc). It’s all gravy on top.

[answered by Mark Cheng, Agape Counselor]
 

Q: Does man have one less rib than woman?

A:  No, men and women both have 24 ribs, 12 on each side.