Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.
For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness?
Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
What accord has Christ with Belial?
Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?
-Paul, 2 Corinthians 6:14-15
The Bible does not mention dating as we know it today, so the principles that can apply to dating must come from principles of marriage and general relationships with each other. To answer your question, we must first examine several important questions:
1. What is the goal of dating? ANSWER: Marriage.
2. What is the goal of marriage? ANSWER: Intimacy/closeness/oneness with your spouse. This intimacy between husband and wife is meant to reflect God's desired intimacy with this people (Eph. 5)
3. How can we be intimate with other person? ANSWER: When you share and love the most important thing in your heart with your husband or wife.
Here's how these questions apply: For the Christian, the most important thing in your heart is God. For the non-Christian, it isn’t. So what inevitably happens – if you want intimacy with your spouse – you’ll have only one choice: You have to push God out of the center of your heart to make room for her. If you want to keep God in the center, however, then you’ll be forced to put her on the outskirts of your heart and lose intimacy. It’s a brutal choice at the end of the day, so that’s why I implore you to trust God; that he’ll put before you a godly husband or wife.
You may ask, “How am I supposed to tell someone that is non-Christian that I can’t or don’t want to date them?" And my response would be that you have to be graceful and tactful (don't say “You’re not a believer!” and leave it at that). You have to say, “Look, every major decision I make involves God somehow, and you wouldn’t even understand that. So every time we make decisions, I have to hide the most important thing in my heart, and that won’t work.”
If you are dating a non-Christian, I know this is a really hard thing to hear. It's brutal. It's saddening. But the longer you wait and the more serious the relationship gets, the more IMPOSSIBLE the choice becomes.
For more thoughts on the matter, please visit our podcast and look for our sermon, "The Dating Game" where I address this question and more.
[Answered by HM]
