An increasing number of Christians have within their circle of friends/family who is struggling with homosexuality (including, bi-sexual/lesbians).Usually, there is a conflict, desire to help, but feelings of not knowing what to do or say. I can honestly say I AM NOT an expert in this field. After spending some time to think and research about it, here are a few suggestions that may be helpful for your situation.
1. Realize that God has placed you in this situation for a special reason; you do have something to share. You do not have to be a professional counselor or come from a homosexual background to be effective. Your life can make a difference!!
2. Remember, your family member IS A WHOLE PERSON, not just a homosexual/bisexual. There is more to him or her than his sexual sin. He or she has value as a person, since your family member was made in the image of God. Christ died for him or her and will continue to love him or her no matter what. This must also be your attitude. Any attempt to help your friend without this unconditional love will fail.
3. EXAMINE YOUR OWN BEHAVIOUR AND MOTIVES. Before you attempt to help, be certain that your relationship with Christ is firm. Ask Him to bring to mind, and to change, any areas of your own life that are inconsistent with His will.
4. Determine if your family member is a Christian. If he/she is not, your first priority is to introduce them to the Lord. Stick to the issue, not on their homo/bi-sexuality. Remember that we are all sinful and have come short of the Glory of God. Their homo/bi-sexuality is not a special case. Homo/bi-sexuality is not the biggest sin. In fact sin is sin in God’s eyes…there is no difference!
5. As you talk. Keep in mind that homo/bi-sexuality (like other sins) is just ANOTHER EXPRESSION OF UNFULFILLED NEEDS and unresolved hurts. As these basic needs are filled and hurts resolved, homosexuality will gradually lose its power and appeal.
6. ESTABLISH TRUST. Be a true friend. That is your duty as a Christian. Do not play psychologist. Be yourself. Respect your family member’s confidence as you expect them to keep yours.
7. Be HONEST with your family member. Do not break down on God’s standard, that homo/bi-sexuality is sin. God hates sin, but loves the sinner. Do not be afraid of such loving confrontation.
8. As you would with any friend, SHARE TRIALS THAT YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED IN THE PAST or are going through now. Convey hope. Tell how God helps you.
9. Finally…..BE PATIENT, realize that you will not have all the answers. Be willing to admit your limitations. God is at work. Do not judge your family members progress. God is ultimately in control. If after all this, your friend rejects God’s help and yours, Don’t’ blame yourself or lose confidence in God.
[Answered By: George M.]
