I go to church but find that I don't relate to any of my friends that I used to have from Sunday school. I think they try to distance themselves from someone who just isn't the typical 'rhccc stereoype' (haha) as in I never attended BASIC/Agape, my parents are not involved with the church, I smoke and occasionally other things. I am nearly failing school (for real, none of the Asian fail crap). I don't consider myself a Christian anymore, does that make me a bad person? I just don't care about a lot of things anymore, but I know I should, for the sake of my friends and family.
You said that you don't consider yourself a Christian anymore and you ask if this makes you a bad person. The key thing you must realize is that Christianity is not about being a good or bad person; it's not about what you do or what you don't do. We are all sinners ("bad people"). Believe it or not, this is the beauty of Christianity. Unlike all other faith systems, Christianity says that everyone is bad. There is no one good, righteous or better than anyone else (Romans 3). This means that nothing you do determines whether you are a good or bad person. The fact that you smoke, fail at school or swear has nothing to do with your salvation because you cannot EARN it. Similarly, the fact that you do NOT smoke, do well in school and never swear has nothing to do with your salvation as well.
The only way you can be saved ("be a good person") is by trusting in Jesus. If you think about it this way, Christianity is actually the most inclusive religion because it teaches us that all those who know they are "bad" can be saved by asking Jesus to forgive their sin, while those who think they are good enough are not saved precisely because they do not feel they need forgiveness.
You've admitted you've walked away from Christ. With this new understanding of what Christianity is all about, I hope you'll turn back to Him. I don't know why you don't care about a lot of things in your life (there could be a thousand reasons), but it seems you are unhappy. If you are, turn back to Jesus. In the Gospel of John, Jesus compares himself with everlasting bread (John 6). What's Jesus talking about? He's talking about spiritual emptiness: An unsatisfied longing for the meaning of life. A spiritual empty person needs a sense of destiny and reassurance. Furthermore, he desperately looks for answers (e.g. different religions; astrology; splurge on shopping we can’t afford; new sexual experiences; do crazy things with your life). But nothing satisfies. Finally the spiritual empty person becomes spiritually weak; he becomes tired, bored and depressed. There is an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. Friend, perhaps I am describing you. If I am, turn back to Jesus. If you really want to be satisfied deep down in your soul, believe in Jesus. Don't do it for the sake of your family; do it for your sake.
God offers hope and restoration, whenever you are ready and willing. Just because you don't feel connected with God right now, does not mean that He's not there. Just like the Prodigal Son (Luke 15) who walked away from His Father but returned to him, God is waiting for you to walk down that path. By asking this question, it means that you're thinking about your life and faith. Please feel free to talk to me in person or one of your counselors about this. We'd love to be able to walk with you through this and help answer any more questions you may have.
[Answered by Pastor KJT and Pastor HM]
