In biology class, we were talking about the possible role of genetics in determining a person's sexual orientation. Is it possible that sexual tendencies are predetermined in our genes? How should I explain the Christian perspective to homo/bisexual friends who believe that it is who they are and they can't change it?Hi friend. This is a great question that has been debated for many years. I would first recommend you to carefully read these two articles: (1) "Is homosexuality genetic?" (2) "Are People Born Gay? The Biological Basis for Sexual Orientation"
Both articles argue that there is substantial proof that links homosexuality directly to genetics. There COULD be a link, but as of today, nothing has been found. That being said, even if there is a genetic predisposition toward homosexuality, this does not mean a person must engage in the act of homosexuality. Homosexual behavior is a choice, after all. This maybe an extreme example, but imagine if we found a genetic predisposition toward violence (some would actually say this has already been found) - does that mean we will allow those with this gene to act upon their violent tendencies? Of course not!
Richard Deem once wrote, "It always amazes me when people say that they were born gay. Looking back on my own experience, I would never say that I was "born straight." I really didn't have any interest in females until about the seventh grade. Before that time, they weren't really interesting, since they weren't interested in sports or riding bikes or anything else I liked to do."
How should I explain the Christian perspective to homo/bisexual friends who believe that it is who they are and they can't change it?
Brian Pengelly, who came to speak at SPLAT last year, wrote two great articles on such a topic. Brian is a man who grew up with an attraction toward men, but by God's power, refrained from pursuing that course in life. The first article is entitled, "Brian's Story: Putting the Pieces Together" and the second, "You Can't Be A Christian - I Don't Hate You!"
In the latter article, Brian describes four ways to reach out to homosexual friends:
1. "Please get to know me!" The most common complaint I heard from my gay friends was that Christians didn't bother to get to know them before telling them what to do. Many Christians had built assumptions about what they must be like, without bothering to see if it was true or not. One told me of being frustrated with Christians railing against homosexuality because of "promiscuous lifestyles" but the ironic thing was the individual was still a virgin. Others told of Christian friends and family members assuming their feelings must be because of sexual abuse, or "just not having met the right guy/girl yet". All responses were tied to Christians not taking time to listen to the person's story, to understand them in the context of their lives, and left the individual feeling unimportant and unloved.
2. Coercion is not okay. Many of my friends told stories of loved ones threatening them in order to motivate them to stop being gay. Some had been thrown out of their home, others had been told that if they didn't change they would receive no more assistance with university tuition. In every case these ultimatums hardened the person's heart against Christianity, forced them to lie, and never brought about the desired change. One friend pointed out how Christian failed the golden rule in this. "How would they feel if their parents forced them to choose between college and their faith?!"
3. "Tell me about Jesus!" For those who had not grown up in Christian homes, telling them what the Bible said had no more persuasive force than someone else trying to influence me by quoting the Quran, or the code of Hannurabi. What my friends were interested in was Jesus. It was only as they got to know Jesus, and saw him reflected in my own life did they begin to care what Scripture said about sexuality.
4. "If you really love me, then care for me!" Most of my friends had heard the phrase "love the sinner, hate the sin" a thousand times, but were hard pressed to come up with concrete examples of how a Christian had ever loved them. Most had found that Christians were afraid to help them or treat them kindly for fear of being perceived as "condoning
their lifestyle". What finally broke down the barriers between us was my willingness to serve them where they were at. In my case it meant giving them rides when they needed it (whether moving them out of an abusive partners apartment, getting them home safe after a night of drinking, or a simple lift home after an event).
[Answered by Pastor HM, with lots of help from his Internet pals!]
