The first problem was regarding gay marriage and homosexuality. My friends think that Christianity should change as society changes. They think that the whole idea of marriage being man and woman is too traditional and narrow-minded and that we should change our views to suit today's culture.
Then we got into the whole debate about whether you can be gay + christian. Since they don't believe that being gay is sinful, it was difficult to explain how a gay person can confess and become a Christian. Christianity comes off as being very narrow-minded. In their word, we are a bit "superior self-righteous power." One of them said that Christianity is the only religion that won't accept the good aspects of other religions, which are open-minded. They also asked that if someone does not believe in Jesus, etc would they go to heaven? They see Christianity as saying, "You have to live this way and believe what Christians believe, or you are unworthy and will not get into heaven" and "If you are gay, you must convert and repent and become straight and become a Christian."
How can i rephrase my beliefs so that my friends don't picture Christianity as a holier-than-thou, exclusive club that seeks to alienate people who don't believe the same thing? How can i help give my friends a more positive view of Christianity, without denying our attitude toward homosexuality and the fact that there really is only one way to heaven?
Hello. It would seem your friends have two primary concerns (the first is built upon the second):
1. Homosexuality
2. The exclusivity of Christianity as the one true way to God
So let's break it down:
1. Homosexuality
Since your friends are Jewish, they should appreciate and understand this next point: Long before the New Testament was written, the Old Testament condemned the act of homosexuality as immoral and unnatural (Lev. 18:22). So the stance Christians take is not something that the early church "made up." The New Testament affirms the Old Testament.
Your friends make the claim that religion should evolve with the times. I see several flaws in this argument. First, it assumes that something newer is superior to something older. This is known as "chronological snobbery" and it's false. If this were true, then we can argue for allowing any form of evil to be normative in society. For instance, if one day, a group of people start arguing that marrying your own sister should be lawful and moral, by this line of thought, who is to say they are wrong? The second flaw is that the biblical stance on marriage has been the universal understanding in every human civilization in world history. Listen to what this article from Got Questions says:
The Bible alone, however, does not have to be used to demonstrate this understanding of marriage. The biblical viewpoint of marriage has been the universal understanding of marriage in every human civilization in world history. History argues against gay marriage. Modern secular psychology recognizes that men and women are psychologically and emotionally designed to complement one another. In regard to the family, psychologists contend that a union between a man and woman in which both spouses serve as good gender role models is the best environment in which to raise well-adjusted children. Psychology argues against gay marriage. In nature/physicality, clearly, men and women were designed to “fit” together sexually. With the “natural” purpose of sexual intercourse being procreation, clearly only a sexual relationship between a man and a woman can fulfill this purpose. Nature argues against gay marriage.2. Now, let's talk about your friend's primary concern: The exclusivity of Christianity. There's a few points here:
A. The Bible does not describe homosexuality as a “greater” sin than any other. All sin is offensive to God. Homosexuality is just one of the many things listed in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 that will keep a person from the kingdom of God. According to the Bible, God’s forgiveness is just as available to a homosexual as it is to an adulterer, idol worshipper, murderer, thief, etc. God also promises the strength for victory over sin, including homosexuality, to all those who will believe in Jesus Christ for their salvation (1 Corinthians 6:11; 2 Corinthians 5:17; Philippians 4:13).*
*This is an excerpt from this article.
B. We are not saying there are no truth in other religions. Every culture & religion has some expression of God’s truth. To claim that there is no other name but Jesus doesn’t mean other religions don’t have truth; it is however to claim that those truths are to be examined in light of Jesus Christ who claims to the Truth (John 14:6). C.S. Lewis once wrote, “I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” Lewis isn’t saying you can’t see other truths, but that by Jesus (who is THE Truth), we can truly understand other truths.
C. We are not saying we cannot learn from other religions. Christians can learn a great deal from the rest of the world. The intensity of which a Hindu seeks God can make us look like hypocrites. The discipline a Muslim can make us look very lazy. The missionary commitment of a Mormon puts us to shame.
D. We are not saying that Christianity is the one true religion. Christianity is not the savior; Christ is.
Christianity is claiming that Jesus Christ in the one and only savior who can deliver us from our sins. HE is the issue here. Your friends may say, “Christians are hypocrites” – but that’s not the issue. Yes, there are bad Christians (who don’t love as Jesus loved), but there are also those who follow Jesus and love and would be considered “good Christians.” In the same way, we can say there are bad and good Buddhists, or Mormons, or Muslims. This is not the issue. Christians are not claiming that following their religion gets them to heaven or saves them; Christians are claiming that Jesus does. So Jesus is really the issue; who do you think Jesus is? Why do think this way? On what basis do you believe or not believe who he says he is?
E.
Muslims radically claim exclusivity - not just theologically but linguistically. They believe that the sole and sufficient miracle of Islam is the Koran. They also believe that it is only recognizable in Arabic and that any translation makes it unsacred.
Hinduism is uncompromising on 3 issues: The law of karma (law of moral cause and effect); the authority of their scriptures (Vedas) and reincarnation.
Buddhism doesn’t believe in a personal God at all
New Age followers believe they are God
Baha’ism claims cosmic embrace of all religions, which means they are excluding exclusivists!
What I’m trying to say is that every faith system is exclusive, because every time you assert something a true; you mean something contrary is false. Truth excludes its opposite. Even those that deny the exclusive nature of truth are actually making a truth claim. That's what your friends have done. By stating that Christianity is narrow-minded, and implying they are open-minded, they have made an exclusive truth claim!
F. Christianity is actually the most inclusive of all faith systems. Other religions assume our ability to secure God's favor & love by doing the right things. What is the implication here? You can be a "good person" if you follow certain rules. Listen to what Dr. Tim Keller says (read this carefully!):
"The universal religion of humankind is: We develop a good record and give it to God, and then he owes us. The gospel is: God develops a good record and gives it to us, then we owe him (Rom. 1:17). In short, to say a good person, not just Christians, can find God is to say good works are enough to find God. So the apparently inclusive approach is really quite exclusive. It says, 'The good people can find God, and the bad people do not.' The gospel says, 'The people who know they aren't good can find God, and the people who think they are good do not.' So both approaches are exclusive, but the gospel's is the more inclusive exclusivity. It says joyfully, 'It doesn't matter who you are or what you've done. It doesn't matter if you've been at the gates of hell. You can be welcomed and embraced fully and instantly through Christ.' "So friend, take heart. Read as much as you can (I've put some further recommended resources below) about this topic; pray that God would grant you wisdom, patience and courage and talk to your friends again. I've encountered many people that share your friends' viewpoint. There's hope because the gospel has the power the save (Romans 1:16-17).
[Answered by Pastor HM]
http://www.everystudent.com/features/connecting.html
www.reasonablefaith.org - Dr. William Lane Craig's website
The Reason for God, by Timothy Keller (Listen to Keller's talk about exclusivity)
Vintage Jesus, by Mark Driscoll
Evidence That Demands A Verdict, by Josh McDowell
The Case for Faith, by Lee Strobel
Jesus Among Other Gods, by Ravi Zacharias
