To answer this question, we must first look at where we find our identity. There is a immediate difference between humility and low self-esteem. The starting point of humility is God, while the starting point for self-esteem is - as you guessed it - yourself. Humility starts when we look to God and see ourselves in perspective; when we see...
the extent and consequence of our sin...
how our lives are so fragile and uncontrollable...
how our wisdom and knowledge is so fallible...
how our bodies are so weak...
how we should be separated from God because of our sin...
When we see all of this, the proper response is to fall to our knees in humility.
But there is more. Humility always comes with gratitude. It's not just feeling bad about yourself (even if you do recognize your sin). Humility should be accompanied by joy, thankfulness and even boasting! The Apostle Paul writes:
"'Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.' For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends" (2 Cor. 10:17-18).
When we boast "in the Lord," this is not a prideful boast. It's not showing off how great we are. Rather it's telling others how great God's character and deeds are. Sam Storms provides some insight on his blog:
Our boast, therefore, must be in the beauty of Christ's person and the majesty of who he is, together with a celebration of what he has done in grace and kindness and power and compassion.
Humility is when we can tell how great God is, instead of telling others how great WE ARE. Now compare this to self-esteem. Self-esteem, by definition is "how much you value yourself and how important you think you are. It's how you see yourself and how you feel about your achievements. It's not about thinking you're perfect — because nobody is — but knowing that you're worthy of being loved and accepted." A few comments:
1. The concept of self-esteem has some merit. Specifically, it teaches us that human beings need to feel worthy of being loved. This is in line with biblical teaching.
2. But the problem, as stated earlier, is where we find this love, acceptance, satisfaction, etc.? Self-esteem tells us we are to find it in ourselves. BUT how are we to KNOW that we are loved accepted? Are we supposed to just feel it? I know many people that do not feel loved and accepted no matter how hard they try to will it, or how many techniques they use. Similarly,are we supposed to KNOW that we're loved and accepted through our relationships? Indeed, there is some truth to this last statement, but there are also times when we just don't feel loved and accepted no matter how a person treats us. Why? It's because all human beings are fallible, sinful and selfish. They cannot make you feel loved and accepted some of the time; let alone all the time.
The gotquestions summarizes the answer to your question well.
Low-self-esteem is a form of pride. Some people have low self-esteem because they want people to feel sorry for them, to pay attention to them, to comfort them. Low self-esteem can be a declaration of “look at me” just as much as pride. It simply takes a different route to get to the same destination, that is, self-absorption, self-obsession, and selfishness. Instead, we are to be selfless, to die to self, and to deflect any attention given to us to the great God who created and sustains us.
This does not mean that Christians should have low self-esteem. It only means that our sense of being a good person should not depend on what we do, but rather on who we are in Christ. We need to humble ourselves before Him, and He will honor us. Psalm 16:2 remindsus, “I said to the Lord, ‘You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.’” Christians attain self-worth and esteem by having a right relationship with God. We can know we are valuable because of the high price God paid for us through the blood of His Son, Jesus Christ.
[Answered by Pastor HM, who continues must work on his humility]
