Q: How do you let go of bitterness? God teaches us not to be bitter and anger and learn to forgive our enemies. How are we suppose to do this if these are people who are acting very mean to us (such as spreading gossip, etc.)? Are we suppose to love them despite them doing so?

A: In the Book of Ephesians, it says this:

30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. - Ephesians 4:30-32

This passage tells us that indeed, bitterness is not something that we should have in our lives and the Apostle Paul (who writes the Book of Ephesians) tells us to get rid of it by being kind and compassionate to one another, forgive each other just as Christ forgave us. 

One would focus on the fact that in order to get rid of bitterness, we have to be kind and compassionate to one another, but the main message of this passage is not that, but is the last part - just as Christ forgave us. 

You see, we do not have the capabilities to get rid of the bitterness we have.  If we consider bitterness a sin (amongst the other things that Paul tells us to get rid of), than we have to know that we unable to get rid of sin without the forgiving power of Jesus Christ.  Thus, there is no way that we can get rid of the bitterness we have on our own, but it is only through the power and revelation of Christ's forgiveness.

Therefore, to answer your question, you must rely on Christ and allow Him to work through your heart and change the way that you feel.  I understand that may be easier said than done as we always want something more tangible and we want to see results, but ultimately, if we remember that it is Christ who forgives even the worst of our sins, we can remember to extend that grace to others also. 

[answered by Pastor KJT]

Q: Is it appropriate for Christians to use birth-control (e.g. condoms?)

A:  There is no black and white answer to this question as this is a matter of personal conviction based on Biblical values.  I will give you my opinion and explain why I feel that way.  But before I do, I want to make one thing clear: it is NOT okay for not married Christians to be use birth control of ANY type other than abstinence because you are not married.  If you aren't married because you shouldn't be having sex and thus no reason for a contraceptive! 

I personally feel that it is okay for a Christian married couple to be using condoms or other contraceptives (other than emergency contraceptives).  Let me explain.  A young couple who just got married may not be ready to have children but still wish to enjoy the intimacy that God intended for His [married] children to have.  Thus, the use of condoms would be acceptable.  In the case of emergency contraceptives, I will leave you to read Dr. Steve Tu's answer as he has done extensive research on the topic.  You can find his answer HERE.

In Genesis 9:7, it says "As for you, be fruitful and increase in number; multiply on the earth and increase upon it.".  I realize that it is God's command for us to have children and many of them, but a couple has to also face the financial, emotional and physical realities of life and the responsibility of raising a child.  If they are not at the point where they can do so yet, contraceptives may be used. 

However, I believe that if we deliberately hold back from having kids because we don't want to change our lifestyle or not spend your money on children, than we are not following God's command.  If you can, you should.

Also along those lines, if a married Christian couple was to "accidentally" conceive, it is NOT acceptable to abort or use emergency contraceptives.  As a matter of fact, not only is it not acceptable, it is sinful to do so.  The child has already been "made" and thus the Christian should take it as a blessing and take responsibility for the baby.  After all, God does not make mistakes.

[answered by Pastor KJT]

Q: In heaven, are we all equals? What exactly does that entail?

A:  In essence, we are all equals as we are all sinners and only enter heaven through the grace of Jesus Christ.  However, the Bible does talk about different levels of rewards.

Revelation 22:12 says,

“Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done." 

This indicates that Jesus will reward each person differently.  This is not a matter of salvation (every believer receives this), but it shows us that there will be a time that all will essentially reap what they sow.  Exactly what those rewards are are unknown. 

And so although all Christians are granted eternity in heaven, not all Christians are the same in a sense that some simply believe, but others believe and DO!

For more information, please read this blog post:  http://www.gotquestions.org/levels-heaven.html 



[answered by Pastor KJT]

Q: Is it better to pray to God about the same thing more than once? It is more likely for Him to answer your prayers if you pray for it more than once?

A:   God will answer your prayer if it is in His will not because of how many times you pray for it. For example in Matthew 6:7, Jesus warns us -

“7And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.” 

That is we are not to “babble”, repeat the same word over and over again in a meaningless way. This is praying with our minds disengaged from our lips. We should not pray thinking there is some special formula, a certain number of times that we ask God until something is answered. He will answer the request if it is in His will. This is the key thing.

Having said all this there are times when we have to be persistent in prayer, to keep praying for some things over and over again. For example, the salvation of your loved ones may take many years of praying for them, not just a one time thing. Another thing that will take repeated prayer is what to do with your life. In some cases, God wants you to develop perseverance and to keep praying and not to give up. Another reason I believe why we have to pray over and over for some things is that God’s will becomes clearer to us as we continue to pray and eventually our prayer changes to conform to His will and that is when it is answered.

[answered by Pastor Quang of the English Congregation]

Q: Are Christians supposed to swear? If they do, does it mean they are not real Christians? Are we allowed to say 'crap'?

A: It is definitely a sin to swear (curse, cuss, etc.). The Bible makes this abundantly clear. Ephesians 4:29 tells us, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." First Peter 3:10 declares, "For, whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech." James 3:9-12 summarizes the issue: "With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water."

James makes it clear that the lives of Christians should not be characterized by evil speech or swearing. By making the analogy of both salt water and fresh water coming from the same spring (which is uncharacteristic of springs), he makes the point that it is uncharacteristic for a believer to have both praise and cursing come from his/her mouth. Nor is it characteristic for us to praise God on one hand and curse our brothers on the other. This, too, is uncharacteristic of a true believer.

Christians should honor the purpose of speech by using our mouths to praise God and leading others to obey the Lord through faith in Jesus Christ. Every word we speak should be “gracious” and “seasoned with salt” (Col. 4:6). We should always ask, “What would Jesus say?”

Jesus explained that what comes out of our mouths is that which fills our hearts. Sooner or later, the evil in the heart comes out through the mouth in curses and swearing. But when our hearts are filled with the goodness of God, praise for Him and love for others will pour forth. Our speech will always indicate what is in our hearts. “The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45).

Why is it a sin to cuss / swear / curse? Sin is a condition of the heart, the mind, and “the inner man” (Romans 7:22), which is manifested in our thoughts, actions and words. When we swear and curse, we are giving evidence of the polluting sin in our hearts that must be confessed and repented of. Once we confess our personal sins to God and ask forgiveness for them, we are restored to perfect fellowship and communion with Him. Thankfully, our great God is “faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). When this happens, we receive a new nature from God (2 Corinthians 5:17), our hearts are transformed, and our speech reflects the new nature God has created within us.

The Thesaurus defines “profanity” as “The quality or state of being obscene. Something that is offensive to accepted standards of decency.” The Law Encyclopedia defines “profanity” as “Irreverence towards sacred things; particularly, an irreverent or blasphemous use of the name of God; vulgar, irreverent, or coarse language.”

On March 5, 2007, the Christian broadcasting company VCY America ceased broadcasting “Insight for Living”, the radio program of Charles Swindoll, reformed preacher, author, and former president and Professor Emeritus of Dallas Seminary. The company listed many instances in which Swindoll had used language that the company considered “unbecoming a pastor, and…inappropriate for our listeners”. This language included words such as ‘crap’, ‘buns’, ‘heck’, and ‘balls’. This language was not only seen as offensive and crude, but a barrier to ministry. VCY affirmed their stance that Christian radio is a “witnessing tool”, and such inappropriate language abases Christian radio, interfering with its ability to minister effectively.

In January of 2007, author and pastor John Piper, preaching to college students at a Christian conference, said that God “kicks our ass,” referring to God’s discipline for his children. Reflecting on his slip of the tongue, Piper stated that he might have used it to try to be “gutsy and real and not middle-class pious”, but wished he hadn’t used it, reasoning that, “It backfires if one becomes unholy to make people holy”.

We must remember that over time language does change, as does connotation and the definition of profane. History proves that what was once profane is no longer, and what is now profane may not have always been and will not always be. Perhaps a more appropriate scripture for this cultural shift in how language is used is I Corinthians 10:23, “"Everything is permissible" - but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive.” So when in doubt, don’t. The Bible is clear, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” [Ephesians 4:32]. We need to be careful how we speak, no matter what language we choose.

The following response by Wayne Grudem may be helpful to you: http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Articles/ByTitle/1945_Wayne_Grudem_on_Offensive_Language/

[answered by Pastoral Intern Ray Lee]

Q: When people pass away, can they look down on earth and see us?

A: Great Question! There is no clear biblical passage to answer your question but consider the following.

Within the Christian faith, there is a significant amount of confusion regarding what happens after death. Some hold that after death, everyone “sleeps” until the final judgment, after which everyone will be sent to heaven or hell. Others believe that at the moment of death, people are instantly judged and sent to their eternal destinations. Still others claim that when people die, their souls/spirits are sent to a “temporary” heaven or hell, to await the final resurrection, the final judgment, and then the finality of their eternal destination. So, what exactly does the Bible say happens after death?

First, for the believer in Jesus Christ, the Bible tells us that after death believers’ souls/spirits are taken to heaven, because their sins are forgiven by having received Christ as Savior (John 3:16, 18, 36). For believers, death is to be “away from the body and at home with the Lord” (2 Corinthians 5:6-8;Philippians 1:23). However, passages such as 1 Corinthians 15:50-54 and 1 Thessalonians 4:13-17 describe believers being resurrected and given glorified bodies. If believers go to be with Christ immediately after death, what is the purpose of this resurrection? It seems that while the souls/spirits of believers go to be with Christ immediately after death, the physical body remains in the grave “sleeping.” At the resurrection of believers, the physical body is resurrected, glorified, and then reunited with the soul/spirit. This reunited and glorified body-soul-spirit will be the possession of believers for eternity in the new heavens and new earth (Revelation 21-22).

Second, for those who do not receive Jesus Christ as Savior, death means everlasting punishment. However, similar to the destiny of believers, unbelievers also seem to be sent immediately to a temporary holding place, to await their final resurrection, judgment, and eternal destiny. Luke 16:22-23 describes a rich man being tormented immediately after death. Revelation 20:11-15 describes all the unbelieving dead being resurrected, judged at the great white throne, and then being cast into the lake of fire. Unbelievers, then, are not sent to hell (the lake of fire) immediately after death, but rather are in a temporary realm of judgment and condemnation. However, even though unbelievers are not instantly sent to the lake of fire, their immediate fate after death is not a pleasant one. The rich man cried out, “I am in agony in this fire” (Luke 16:24).

Therefore, after death, a person resides in a “temporary” heaven or hell. After this temporary realm, at the final resurrection, a person’s eternal destiny will not change. The precise “location” of that eternal destiny is what changes. Believers will ultimately be granted entrance into the new heavens and new earth (Revelation 21:1). Unbelievers will ultimately be sent to the lake of fire (Revelation 20:11-15). These are the final, eternal destinations of all people—based entirely on whether or not they had trusted Jesus Christ alone for salvation (Matthew 25:46; John 3:36).

After death, the believer in Christ is in heaven and is most assuredly perfectly content to enjoy the glories of heaven and worshipping the majesty of the Lord without worrying about the Earth and its inhabitants. For those who do not receive Jesus as Savior, the story of the rich man and Lazarus is instructive (Luke 16:19-31).

[answered by Pastoral Intern Ray Lee]

Q: My dad says that he doesn't fear the Lord, but he respects God. Is he right? And what does it really mean to fear the Lord?

A:  Great Question!  Respect for God is part of the story but not the whole story.  Consider the following.

For the unbeliever, the fear of God is the fear of the judgment of God and eternal death, which is eternal separation from God (Luke 12:5; Hebrews 10:31). For the believer, the fear of God is something much different. The believer's fear is reverence of God. Hebrews 12:28-29 is a good description of this: “Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our ’God is a consuming fire.’”

This reverence and awe is exactly what the fear of God means for Christians. This is the motivating factor for us to surrender to the Creator of the Universe.

Proverbs 1:7 declares, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge.” Until we understand who God is and develop a reverential fear of Him, we cannot have true wisdom. True wisdom comes only from understanding who God is and that He is holy, just, and righteous. Deuteronomy 10:12, 20-21 records, “And now, O Israel, what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul. Fear the LORD your God and serve him. Hold fast to him and take your oaths in his name. He is your praise; he is your God, who performed for you those great and awesome wonders you saw with your own eyes.” The fear of God is the basis for our walking in His ways, serving Him, and, yes, loving Him.

Some redefine the fear of God for believers to “respecting” Him. While respect is definitely included in the concept of fearing God, there is more to it than that. A biblical fear of God, for the believer, includes understanding how much God hates sin and fearing His judgment on sin—even in the life of a believer. Hebrews 12:5-11 describes God’s discipline of the believer. While it is done in love (Hebrews 12:6), it is still a fearful thing. As children, the fear of discipline from our parents no doubt prevented some evil actions. The same should be true in our relationship with God. We should fear His discipline, and therefore seek to live our lives in such a way that pleases Him.

Fearing God means having such a reverence for Him that it has a great impact on the way we live our lives. The fear of God is respecting Him, obeying Him, submitting to His discipline, and worshipping Him in awe.  Fear of God brings with it many blessings and benefits. It is the beginning of wisdom and leads to good understanding (Psalm 111:10). Only fools despise wisdom and discipline (Proverbs 1:7). Furthermore, fear of God leads to life, rest, peace, and contentment (Proverbs 19:23). It is the fountain of life (Proverbs 14:27) and provides a security and a place of safety for us (Proverbs 14:26).

[answered by Pastoral Intern Ray Lee]